Human Zoo
Recording Artist: Bret Michaels
Writers: Jim Vallance
Bret Michaels
Date Written: August 1995, Vancouver Canada
Albums: A Letter From Death Row / Soundtrack CD (1998, Poor Boy Records)
Freedom of Sound, Vol. 1: A Collection of Songs, Past & Present (2006, Poor Boy Records)
Audio:
 
Released version.
Additional Audio:
 
The home-studio demo for "Human Zoo", recorded with Bret Michaels in Vancouver, August 1995.  Bret's on vocals, harmonica and guitar. I'm playing bass, drums and slide guitar.
Comments:

In August 1995 former "Poison" lead-singer Bret Michaels spent a week at my studio in Vancouver where I helped him complete three songs, one of them titled "Human Zoo".

A bona fide rock star, Bret knows everyone in Hollywood. Plus, he's a great story-teller (imagine "Kid Rock meets David Lee Roth"). It made for an entertaining week, to say the least.

Unfortunately nothing immediately happened with the three songs we wrote and I completely forgot about them for nearly ten years. 

Then, in June 2004 I heard about a film called "A Letter From Death Row" -- written, directed and starring Bret Michaels. Glancing at the credits I noticed the soundtrack included a song titled "Human Zoo".  Hmmm.  I wondered if it might be the same "Human Zoo" I'd written with Bret back in '95? 

A bit more research proved that the two songs were, in fact, one and the same (see the audio samples above). There was just one problem: Bret had neglected to credit me as a co-writer!

My publisher contacted Bret's publisher and tried to have the error corrected, but Bret vehemently denied that I'd had any involvement in the song!

I considered pursuing the matter further, but then I discovered that the "Death Row Soundtrack" album had only sold 2,000 copies.  In other words, my share of the royalties (if I could get Bret to pay up) wouldn't buy a tank of gas for my car, let alone cover the cost of a lawyer.

I put the issue behind me, but a year later I received an email from a fellow who'd read the "Human Zoo" story on my website.  Did I know, he asked, that I was listed as a co-writer in credits at the end of the "Death Row" film?  No, I didn't!  In other words, during post-production for the film Bret must have submitted my name to the graphics designers, only to forget this little piece of "evidence" before deciding to deny I'd had any involvement in the song. At least that's my "best guess" as to what might have transpired.

With the new evidence in hand my publisher contacted Bret's publisher one more time, and apparently my co-writing credit has now been reinstated.

Lyrics: Well you just step right up, you sexy thing
Tell me what's been goin' on in that funky little brain
Come dance with the devil
You want it when it's gonna cost you
'Cause nothing comes for free
When you're living in a human zoo

Dance sista dance through the human zoo
You're such a mess now, girl
Look what they done to you...
In the human zoo
Look what they've done to you

All love lost, in a fit of rage
Sell your soul for revenge and seal your fate
Welcome to the nightmare
I've been expecting you
Say anything you like, baby
Just don't let me hear your point of view

Dance sista dance through the human zoo
Dance sista dance through the human zoo
You're such a mess now, girl

Look what they done to you...
In the human zoo
Look what they done to you
Look what, look what they done, baby
They made a mess of you

Hanoi rocks and Saigon rolls
Just drop the bomb then watch it explode

Sign of the times read "too young to vote"
But old enough to die for you
We got the medication you need
Just don't let us hear your point of view

Dance sista dance through the human zoo
Dance sista dance through the human zoo